Coming Soon: ...crap.

Two days till December and I hit my first major setback: my laptop went on strike. It is the family computer and my main method of communication ever since my cell phone got sucked down the poverty cyclone. I notified a friend who has been fixing laptops for us since Syd and I first met and promised him apple dumplings for any help he could offer. Then, I crawled around my big-ass desk and plugged up Old Faithful, the desktop, otherwise affectionately referred to as Dinosaur McGee.

I'm waiting with bated breath to hear the laptop diagnosis. Dinosaur McGee is not reliable for anything other than...well...it takes three minutes to load Firefox, to give you a good idea of my predicament.

This is a fairly depressing occurrence. To console myself, I decided to get out my Christmas tree decorations a day early so I could sort cat-damaged from yet-to-be-cat-damaged. I dove back into the closet mess and emerged with a grand total of one box.

One box? Really? Just one? And a canister of plastic ornament balls?

This girl has got to get her snowflake-making ass in gear and make herself some more decorations!

In the spirit of plastering the windows and the door with geometrically-cut copy paper, here is an instructable for cutting a six-pointed snowflake:

http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Make-6-Pointed-Paper-Snowflakes/

I have made some from plain old printer paper, but also started getting creative with origami paper. Syd is a paper folding origami machine, so we have lots and as far as I remember the plain, non-patterned paper is fairly cheap. Don't quote me, I've been trying not to set foot in a craft store. I'd end up crying like an infant over the seasonal ribbon.

I'll be working on making snowflakes and using fishing line to string them together. They'll go up around the house in every corner, hanging from every wall, draped over whatever will stand still. At least this is what I dream of.

Odds are I'll stop in the middle of my first one and wail whilst holding my cramped hand close.

Anyway, despite the computer issue, here's an idea of what you can look forward to come December:

-baked cornstarch dough ornaments
-a killer apple dumpling recipe
-chocolate chess pie
-the best tea for colds
-more Christmas tree shenanigans!

And I might make a Facebook page for the blog to make consistent updates easier to keep up with. I'd try Twitter but honestly I talk too much.

OH MAI

ATTENTION. SYD PUT THE FIRST ORNAMENT UP. SHE DID.



WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

Also a cat vomited on the tree skirt.