The idea came to me in the shower. I hadn’t had one in four days because of a mishap with the plumber so I was borrowing my friend’s parent’s bathroom. The memory of this shower is quite clear--the water temperature was perfect, there were a variety of magical non-silicone conditioners to choose from, the soap was silky, and the water itself was not harsh with minerals.
As I was moving into a rinse cycle, it struck me how much I hated the thought of moving my lazy ass through one more overly-commercialized farcical family-hating minivan Christmas. But I scolded myself. You hussy, I thought. You love Christmas don’t act like you don’t. And I was right. I do love Christmas. I was just deluding myself to ignore the fact that for the first time in years, I am absolutely, completely, utterly, astoundingly unemployed.
And broke.
Very, very broke.
Then, the rebellious voice in my brain which gets me into debates I can never possibly win spoke up. First it said No, don’t get up and stop writing, or you will get tied down with other things and forget your train of thought--putting lotion on your forehead leads to mopping the floor leads to writing on the calendar leads to Facebook--but not really, what it really said was this:
Why can’t I have my damn Christmas? It may be cheap and ridiculous but hey. I’m sure a lot of people are in a similar absolutely, completely, utterly, astoundingly unemployed state. And like cheap and ridiculous things.
I got excited. I would make a project of this! Yes, a grand and mighty project. Then I remembered that I shared a tiny apartment with a Christmas-loathing friend and three cats who specialize in destroying everything that I love.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned about living with a cantankerous teddy bear and three yarn-vomiting razor tornadoes, it is that quitting and letting them win is just too easy. Things settle down, life grows docile. The house becomes too harmonious.
I must disturb the peace.
With Christmas.
And then write a blog about the disasters that ensue.
I will remember this shower forever.
